Outgoing Introvert
Introverts but ready to come out of their shell
Since childhood, we’ve been accustomed to the dichotomy between introverts and extroverts; “you know, my child is a bit shy and struggles to connect with others.” “Really? Mine, on the other hand, makes friends easily and feels comfortable playing with anyone.” “Oh, how lucky you are! I always find it difficult to get him involved and integrated with others.” This could be the type of banter that two parents might have after picking up their children from school; the first sees their child as “flawed” compared to the other’s child, fearing that their child will struggle to relate to the world, while the second appears much more relaxed and serene. But what if they were mistaken?
Introverts and extroverts are not two sides of the same coin but rather elements of a continuum, the extremes of this continuous line that spans from one end to the other. As a continuous line, therefore, there are different gradations, different percentages of composition of each individual’s way of being. We’ll hardly encounter people who are completely introverted or extroverted (unless under extreme pathological conditions, such as in the case of hikikomori), but we’ll always deal with people who are more or less close to one of the two extremes, or even perfectly in the middle (in which case we could speak of ambiverts).
Introvert and extrovert, what do they mean?
But before we delve in, let’s clarify these concepts; what sets them apart? What do these two definitions mean? What do they bring with them?
The extrovert has a positive relationship with the external environment: they study it and adapt to it as much as possible; they derive energy from their interactions with other people and tend to conform to the groups they belong to.
The introvert, on the other hand, tends to remain more distant from the vicissitudes of the external world, preferring to analyze more deeply what is within themselves; they feel comfortable managing their own thoughts and emotions and also tend to be distrustful of other people and pessimistic about the situations they experience.
Therefore, defining someone as introverted or extroverted, as described by Jung at the beginning of the last century, is not an evaluation linked to the essence of the person but an indication of the ways in which they relate to the external world.
Introverts, therefore, seek (and derive) energy from themselves by also building moments of solitude to “recharge their batteries”; they are often shy and build close-knit groups of trustworthy people to relate to, they need time to make decisions and primarily learn through observing the world around them, they don’t like to get their hands dirty but are also very intense and passionate about the projects they decide to pursue.
On the other hand, there are extroverts who derive energy from their interactions with other people and, consequently, are more social individuals who show no differences between their private and public selves. They usually belong to large groups of people and are very friendly with everyone, but, also due to all these stimuli, they can often get distracted. Their preferred method of learning is derived from experience, from getting involved in things hands-on, and when they want to pursue a goal, they are resolute and quick in making decisions.
What if there was a third way?
However, as mentioned earlier, none of us can solely identify with one of the two sets of characteristics, but there will always be shades of one or the other. In this set of nuances, there is a category called Outgoing Introverts; individuals who would normally belong to the group of introverts but who enjoy “coming out” and being the center of attention and having social relationships. They are people who, depending on the context, feel a switch activate that allows them to switch from one mode to another; they are not afraid to be the center of attention when speaking, being among people, or taking the stage, but when these sporadic events end, they feel completely drained of energy, exhausted, and need some time to recover and recharge their batteries.
The theme of fear is what sets them apart from shy or completely introverted people; they are not afraid to show themselves, on the contrary, they benefit from social relationships even though, as mentioned, they need recovery time after these events.
How to recognize an Outgoing Introvert
The question we can ask ourselves now is: how do we recognize a person who belongs to the category of Outgoing Introverts? Are we ourselves?
As if it were a rare animal, something that is still not known, a species to study, let’s define some typical signs of this category of people.
1. They are calm in forming social relationships with other people but also need time alone
Think of people like writers and artists in general; they are often individuals who seek moments of solitude to create at their best but, unlike people who are strongly introverted, they do not disdain social relationships because they constitute the final and expository part of the fruit of their work. When other people encounter an Outgoing Introvert, they find it easy to talk to them and feel welcomed and understood in the conversation because they can quickly empathize with the emotional state of their interlocutor.
2. They experience an adrenaline rush during social interactions but, in the end, are completely exhausted
When they find themselves in favorable social contexts (for example, surrounded by a group of acquaintances and close friends or during the discussion of a topic of great interest to them), they feel they have full control over the situation; they can be the life of the party but, at a certain point, completely exhaust their energy and “disappear” from the scene because, nevertheless, they are emotionally and physically drained by these situations. Fatigue hits them all at once, as if they feel they have accomplished their mission and can finally rest.
3. Their desire to develop social relationships depends heavily on their energy level
Completely extroverted people, as mentioned earlier, derive energy from social relationships with people they care about and others, their goal is to be with others. For Outgoing Introverts, it is not like this; they develop a desire for social relationships based on the time they have spent alone. They do not want to relate to many people after an especially intense week of work full of meetings, but prefer to get to know new people when they have spent a considerable part of the week (or day) alone.
Personality traits and leadership potential
The definitions we have provided so far, as well as common thought, seem to indicate that more extroverted people are more suited for leadership roles, yet this thought doesn’t always correspond to reality. This view, in fact, stems from an extremely dichotomous view of reality, but as we have already seen, there is a continuum of nuances that lead to different levels of introversion and extroversion.
Think of figures like Michael Jordan, Audrey Hepburn, Mahatma Gandhi, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and many others. They all identify as introverts, and we can confidently say that they are among the most prominent figures in their specific fields of interest.
Furthermore, a Harvard study shows that extroverts are better able to lead teams of people who follow their directions while introverts are better at leading proactive teams in which everyone is called upon to contribute their own input.
Finally, as seen earlier, introverts are more prone to deeply reflecting on things while extroverts are more guided by instinct in making decisions.
In this light, a figure characterized by being an Outgoing Introvert will be able to make the best use of the capabilities of both traits presented earlier, although they may only do so for a limited time and with great emotional and physical effort. They will empathetically engage with their interlocutors and be brilliant during client presentations, delve into topics related to new challenges to be faced, take initiative, balance the need to synthesize group thinking with the development of their own ideas.
Conclusions and some advice
In a world that often tends to categorize people based on rigid labels, it is essential to remember the complexity of each individual. Introverts and extroverts are not two opposite extremes but shades of a continuum that reflects the richness of human diversity.
Therefore, there are no elements that unambiguously indicate one personality trait as “better” than the other, but depending on the context in which we find ourselves operating, it will be easier or more difficult to implement certain behaviors and capabilities typical of one or the other group.
Nevertheless, introverts are always seen as people who present “behavioral limitations”. In conclusion, here are some pieces of advice that some leaders, who identify more strongly as introverts, have shared over time: balance your time (for every hour of meeting, define half an hour of time for yourself), get your thoughts out of your head (sharing will generate new ideas and clarify old ones), be at peace with yourself (in other words, don’t pretend to be extroverted), build deep relationships (with people who know how to listen to and support you), explain to others your mental processes.
🔗 Some links for further reading
Why Introverts Can Be Great Leaders — The Hustle (link)
The study showing that introverts can lead proactive teams — Harvard Business School (link)
Introverted Leaders: Exploring the Role of Personality and Surrounding Environment — Florida International University (link)
What If You’re an Outgoing Introvert? — Well+Good (link)
